Not Exactly How I Planned It

I have never been one who possessed great amounts of self esteem in the appearance department, but this past week has just been ridiculous.

Exhibit A if you will: I realized it was my final weekend to shop for an outfit for this year's Derby extravaganza since I'm out of town this coming weekend and the following weekend is the big day. So...I set out for some serious shopping. Nothing fit. I mean seriously - nothing. Dresses were too bulky in some places and way too tight in others. Way too tight even in bigger sizes. WTF? I know I haven't exactly been a fitness buff of late, but I don't eat horribly and it's not like I haven't worked out in years. Let's just say I was even less happy under those abhorred fluorescent lights than usual.

Exhibit B: most of you know that this past year wasn't my best in the dental department. My teeth have always been a good asset and I had never had a cavity in my life until about a year ago. Granted, I did skip out on going for 3 years (not a typo) leading up to that appointment and might have (MIGHT) fallen asleep a time or two before brushing, but it is not like I lost my toothbrush altogether. In any case, I had 6 cavities (again, that is not a typo). I seriously looked at my dentist like she was an alien. So over the course of a year or so, I had all 6 fillings done - insurance included, this was still an adventure into the thousands of dollars. She also informed me that I was doing some serious damage to my teeth with my clenching habit (another post, I promise). For that, I needed to be fitted for a night guard. Immediately. I told her the guard would have to wait and I'd just do my best to stop the clenching on my own (awesome plan, I know).

Fast forward to Monday of this week. Are you ready? I'll give you the short version. 2 more cavities and the damage from the clenching (not even a year has passed) is exponentially worse. So much so, that my front bottom teeth are even chipping (she showed me in a close up mirror - I'm forever grateful as now I'm totally obsessed with staring at my effed up teeth) and one of my back bottom teeth is literally missing the majority of enamel on the outside layer.

Suffice it to say, I am just beyond thrilled to shop for my 2 new fashionable fillings and super sexy night guard (which I'm going to get before my teeth shatter into a million pieces). Just the way I wanted to kick off spring. And also? I'm feeling like I really began my 30's with a bang - a bang of the fat-assed, snaggle toothed variety.

NOT the image I had my head. Not at all. Send dental floss. And weight watchers.

Love,
Me